Julia Serano, Whipping Girl

Posted: Thu, Oct 31, 2024

The Ten-Million-Dollar Question

The heuristic Serano offers: pp. 87–88.

I asked this question in the pre-semester survey: “Imagine that I offered you ten million dollars under the condition that you live for the rest of your life as a different gender than the one assigned to you at birth. How much of a difference do you think that might make to your life? Would you ultimately take me up on the offer, and why or why not? ”

Results (n=56):

  • I’ll pass: 33
  • I’ll take up the offer: 21
  • Other: 2

(Spring 2023: Pass: 32; Take: 24; Other: 2.)

Why no?

  • Don’t want to change who I am:
    • “At first I was like, ‘hell yea I want 10 mill dollars’ but to change genders? Although I do complain every month (on my period) that I hate being a woman, I would hate it more if I was a man…I would never change my identity as a woman.”
    • “That is such a hard question, Because immediately I think of all the opportunities that would arise from having that money. Although truly thinking about it, I would not take up the offer. I have already lived such a substantial amount of my life as a woman but also as a black woman. Those struggles and triumphs I have faced because of that identity, have made me who I am. I have the drive, creativity, and sensitivity I do because I have grown up as a Black woman. Even with a generous amount of money, I would be living a life as someone who is not me. I would constantly face feeling as if I don’t belong in my body and I don’t think I, or anyone deserves that.”
    • “I don’t think I would take you up on that offer to be completely honest. I’m not sure exactly how I would feel to live a completely different life even as a different gender. I feel like I would be so confused on how to live life because being a girl is so different then being a guy. Guys live a completely different life and don’t do half of the stuff that we as girls do. So I would have to say I would not take u up on that offer.”
    • “My life would change not much but it would be a bit different. I would not take up on the offer because I like the way I am now.”
    • “No I would not accept that because I’ve always valued being a father figure and I love my girlfriend.”
  • I like being the gender I am:
    • “If I became a man, I think that my life would be easier. I would not fear for my safety or respect. I think that I would also be a lot more ignorant. Although it can be hard, I love being a woman. I would not take up the offer because I think that there is a lot of beauty in my life that comes from being a woman. I have strong relationships with other women and I feel things very deeply. I think that if I were a man, my life would not be as beautiful.”
    • “Ten million dollars would be really helpful in easing any worries about the future, and generally just give me a cushion financially. I think I would debate it for a while, especially if you offered it to me while I was finacially struggling, but my final answer would most likely be no. I really like being a woman and im not sure I view the world the same if I wasnt one.”
    • “This scenario would change a lot of aspects of my life, mostly my comfort. I am comfortable in the gender I was assigned, so I think I’d be uncomfortable in another body. Something that might stay the same would be my sexuality, which is bisexual. I don’t think I would take the offer because I love being the gender I am, therefore, any personal issues that may come with being another gender might not be worth ten million dollars.”
    • “I like doing girly things and being a girl. I am not sure if I would take you up on that offer because I don’t want to give up my identity and who I am.”
    • “I think my life would be a lot easier and less complicated if I weren’t a woman. I don’t think I would have less anxiety, be less stressed, live without as much fear, and live more freely and authentically. However, I would not take you up on the offer because even though being a woman comes with it’s struggles, I also love the power and vulnerability that it allows me to have. To me, women are viewed as the underdog or the less capable, so when they are successful and make huge achievements, it makes the victory that much sweeter and rewarding.”
  • Life as a woman would be a lot more difficult:
    • “Being a man gives me a certain influence in my community. People might listen to me more and expect me to take on leadership roles. This respect and authority come with responsibilities, but they also make life easier in some ways. If I were to live as a woman, I might not have the same opportunities or be treated the same way. And admittedly I wouldn’t have a fair chance in almost anything compared to my male counterparts if I were to be a woman.”
    • “This would definitely change the way I live and ultimately I would not take offer. I feel like I would have to learn so many new things about myself and my relationships with others and to be honest it seems really hard to be a woman.”
  • This is not gonna work out:
    • “The money sounds awesome! I have had my ups and downs of being a woman… as well as my fluidity moments that would make me adjust well, momentarily… but there WOULD come a day in which I wake up and see myself in the mirror and break down into an existential crisis because I want to be a woman again… truth is I have healed from the majority of the burdens that tag along with you when being a girl… that I am able to appreciate my gender a lot more than some of my earlier years. Therefore, I might pass.”
  • How is yes even an option?
    • “1000% no! I would (respectfully) rather die than be a man, and that leaves the other option, which is not a man or woman, and that would make my life much harder. #1 For reasons of identity, I’m a woman and I identify and feel as a woman, if I were pretending to be a different gender for money I wouldn’t be happy regardless of my financial success. It would’t feel right to be in the shoes and identify on the outside as something im not to my core—which is a woman. #2 People that identify not as a man or woman are significantly more oppressed and mistreated in our society and no amount of money can erase systemic nor social oppression. #3 I feel a great sense of pride as a woman and a lesbian. Even if you could promise me a life free of oppression and gender hate, I wouldn’t accept the offer because I’m lucky enough to be born as the gender I feel so close to.”

Why yes?

  • For the money:
    • “I would take the offer because 10 million dolllars could do alot for me and my family. It wouldn’t make a big difference in my life because I would be up 10 million.”
    • “I don’t think it makes any difference. I am comfortable in the fact that I would be a different gender in order to acquire ten million dollars as that would help me in my life and my friends and family as well.”
    • “Although it would likely make a big difference in my life, I would take the offer. I do not necessarily feel like I was born in the wrong body or as the wrong gender, but I also do not feel attached or stuck with the gender I was assigned at birth.”
    • “I don’t know if I would the same person if I were not the gender that I had been assigned at birth, a lot of the things I have gone through that created who I am today had to do with the fact that I am a woman, and more, a lesbian. I think that ultimately I would take you up on the offer though, I know there are patriarchal pros to being a male assigned at birth and 10 million dollars is a bit too much for me to pass up :)”
    • “Yes I would. It would make my life completley different, but that money would help my dream life so much. Being male would be easier because they dont have menstrual cycle, it doesn’t take very long for them to get ready, and they do have pretty nice clothes. It would change a lot of things in my relationship, because my girlfriend is lesbian so she might not want to be with a man and I don’t want to date other girls that are attracted to me as a man. So that would be hard and that is the biggest reason I struggled with this answer but that money would actually be amazing.”
    • “I want to say yes because ten million dollars is a lot of money that would be life changing, but I love being a girl and the things that go along with it. My life would definitely be drastically different. I think that I could get over it though and I would definitely take the money hahah”
  • For the male/heterosexual privilege:
    • “I would definitely take you up on the offer, I think the only negative affect it would have is on my relationship because as far as I know he’s not attracted to any other genders haha but 10 million dollars is a lottt of money. I think in general thought it would help me be taken a lot more seriously and get better job positions and pay possibly.”
    • “I would make a great difference, I would milk every single oppurtunity given to me if I were a male. I feel like it would makes things in life way easier. I would take up on the offer, because being a male would give me a leg in the race of life.”
    • “I honestly would easily take you up on that. Assuming that this is excluding non binary folk, etc. As a bisexual woman in a not supportive household, I think it would be much easier as a man to be accepted. The ten million dollars does play a big part in my answer, becuase I love being a woman and have found peace and confidence in my sexuality and gender.”
    • “I would take it up because I feel like guys dont have as much to worry about compared to girls.”
  • For the different experience:
    • “I think it would make a solid difference but at the end of the day if its just an identification way of living then life would not be turned upside down it would just be shifted. I would take the offer not only for the money but also why not? Im not sure how to word my reasoning but I already have gender envy in certain regards and i dont see it as a big deal rather a new experience.”
    • “I would take you up on that offer because not only am i going to be rich, but i will experience life as a different gender. I would get to know how people of this gender would get treated and how my everyday life may change because of the gender roles i play.”
  • Loophole!
    • “Ha! I win this question. I already live as a gender other than the one assigned to me at birth, so that is a free ten million dollars. Of course I’ll take you up on the offer.”

Against Identity-Based Accounts of Gender

The popular proposal: “Julia is a woman” means “Julia identifies as women” (that is, “her gender identity is a woman”).

Problem: this makes identifying as a woman no different from identifying as a dog person, as a Chappell Roan fan, as an atheist, or as a vegan.

  • Analogy: we don’t want to say, for example, that a lesbian woman merely identifies as a lesbian—rather, she is a lesbian, and that’s why she identifies as one.
  • There is also a tricky epistemic issue: how can anyone know what it’s like to be a woman before one has any experiences being a (cis?) woman? (Note the assumption here: if gender identity is what makes us the genders we are, then trans women would not be women until they start identifying as women.)
  • This all makes the needs and desires for medical transition unintelligible: Gender identity, understood as a deliberate choice, seems to be something in the mind—so why does anyone need to do anything to change their body? Why not change your mind? (This easily turns into the dismissal that trans women are just “men” wanting to wear dresses but fall victim to rigid gender norms.)

Serano’s project:

  • Negative claim: identity-based accounts of gender fail to do justice to trans people’s lived gender experiences.
  • Positive claim: an adequate account must capture a phenomenon which Serrano terms “subconscious sex”—that is, “a deep-rooted understanding of what sex [one’s body] should be” (p. 87).
  • Error theory: the initial appeal of identity-based accounts can be explained away by a “blind spot”—it’s really hard for cis people to realize that they also have subconscious sexes, a phenomenon being obscured by the experiences of feeling at home in one’s sexed body.

Serano’s theory of gender (according to Ding)

Three moving parts:

  • Subconscous sex: innate feelings that one’s body should be a certain way (female-appearing, male-appearing, etc.).
  • Experiential gender: the gender one experiences oneself as.
  • Gender identity: the gender category one consciously embraces.

Diagram: There are three boxes connected in a feedback loop. Box 1 is connected via an arrow to Box 2; Box 2 is connected via an arrow to Box 3; and Box is connected via an arrow back to Boxes 1 and 2. Box 1 reads “subconscious sex, social gender, and sexual and gender expression.” Box 2 reads “Experiential gender.” Box 3 reads “gender identity.”

Serano’s own experiences:

  • Early childhood (p. 78–79)
  • Sleepless night, adventure fantasies (pp. 79–80)
  • Subconscious sex is distinguishable from gender roles, gender expression (pp. 83–85)
  • Gender dissonance can be an indicator of subconscious sex (pp. 85–87)
  • The ten million-dollar question as a heuristic for cis folks (pp. 87–88)
  • Analogy with sexual orientation (pp. 89–90)
  • Transphobia vs. cissexism (pp. 91–93)
  • Starting transition, but still avoiding the label “woman” (pp. 216–19)
  • Coming to identify as a woman: change in gender identity is preceded by changes in physical sex (pp. 220–22) and in social gender (pp. 222–24)

Serano’s error theory

If Serano is right, then how come we ended up embracing such an improvised, misleading picture of what trans women’s experiences are like and also more broadly what the reality of gender encompasses?

  • In trans people’s experiences, subconscious sex is intimately and conspicuously felt as it conflicts with a trans person’s conscious understanding of what sex their body is.
  • But this kind of internal conflict is not felt by cis people in their experiences, and this lack of felt conflict ends up obscuring certain important conceptual distinctions—when one’s subconscious sex, social gender, experiential gender, and gender identity all tell you the same thing (e.g., “you are a woman”), it’s difficult to see that they are in fact different things and can in fact come apart.

Analogy with sexual orientation: It used to be the case that straight people found the notion of sexual orientation elusive. When, for example, “being a man” and “being attracted to women” align for you, it’s difficult to see that they are different things and come apart from each other—isn’t “being a man” just the same as “being attracted to women”? As a result, it was not uncommon for straight people to think that they just had no sexual orientation at all. P. 89.

  • Likewise, when cis people struggle to make sense of why trans people insist that they are a different sex/gender than the one assigned to them at birth, the best cis people can do is often something like a “sexual preference”—gender identity.
  • This then feeds into the common trope that trans women are “predators’—we live in a society where women are systematically disadvantaged, and “in this culture, wanting to be a woman is something most people find literally unimaginable,” unless, of course, there’s some sweet perk that trans women are trying to gain this way (because, why else would you want to use a women’s bathroom?).

My worries

  • What’s going on is not that the body feelings are subconscious (they are often all too conscious!). Rather, the problem is that we lack the conceptual and linguistic resources to make sense of and express these feelings, resulting in misinterpretation and confusion.
  • If Fausto-Sterling and Richardson are right that sex is at least in part socially constructed, it seems implausible to suggest that our subconscious sex can be entirely biological determined.
  • If Fausto-Sterling and Richardson are also right that sex is not binary, then our subconscious sex can’t simply be female or male either.